Just Stop

Tell me I was wrong,

that everything you said I was

is true.

Tell me you lied

when you took it

all back.

Tell me I am strong

enough, tell me I'm not

diseased.

Let's hear you say that you were wrong, and I was right. Stop faking this pretentious pallor of pale-skinned, pure-hearted perfection. Drop down and give me twenty reasons why I should stop caring, give me fifty reasons why I do care anyways, give me one hundred reasons why you don't care at all. I wanna see you sweat, so sweetly. You know I was right. How about you look at me, just once? We're not strangers anymore, we can't casually slide our eyes over each other, unseeing, when we pass by. We can't exchange our secret smiles because you said so. You said so, and I told you so. I'll get that tattoo on the back of my neck, 'CAUTION: This Girl's a Trainwreck'. Then they'll know, then you'll know - I never lied. I told you so from the very first moment. I don't know what I want, but I guess it's not you. You said you would stand by me, be there to catch me, but I never asked you to. You could always walk away. I told you so from the very first moment. But you're not walking away, you're dragging bloody wreckage in your wake. You're running and screaming, wailing and gnashing teeth with much swearing and tossing of dynamite. Let's grow up, shall we? I hate this immaturity. I expected more from both of us. I never said I was your heart, your life, some predetermined 'other half'. This isn't a game, but we play it like one. I played you like one - at least that's what's you think. I can only wish you knew. I can only hope you'd understand it. I wish I could taste such sweet vanilla. Earnest, sincere, fucking vanilla. All I wanted was a taste of normal. You were such as sweet. But I waste away on a flavor yet lost to me, I crave the simple perfection of something I can never have. Just a glance, just a taste? No. It's better to know nothing, not better to have licked and lost. I wish that I had never known at all. I wish that you could never know, and always remember. We're both falling, who will catch us now? Crash and burn, falter and implode. Then you'll really know. I was right all along.